Drama and ratings…

It’s funny how every time I have a post that contains griping, whining, bitching or simply criticizing it tends to boost hits to my blog considerably.  So today I’m going to randomly insult people and bitch about things I see wrong with the game…it’s all about the ratings!!!

Sink is gay and calls me an asshole way too much, I cry myself to sleep at night.

Aribethe can lick my balls(though that’s not really saying much because I have an open door policy when it comes to allowing people to lick my balls).

Dragon Soul is the least imaginative, most boring raid EVER!!  It makes ToC look like Ulduar.

My friend Pete’s head is too big for his body, hell, ANY body.

Lirin won’t return my affection no matter how much I stalk her.

Kam secretly likes tofu more than bacon!!!

Edicomoh is still the coolest dude around so I’ll just make something up…ummm…he has both male and female genitalia(he keeps ‘em in a jar under his bed).

Aelric acts like a giant perv just to hide that fact is actually a hairy woman with a deep voice.

Gil is secretly in love with Opti and once told me he’d club a baby seal and eat a kitten for just one night with her.

Fifty is a gnome IRL.

Konji once got sssoooo angry at a puppy for looking cute he ranted and raged for three days straight without food or water.  Rumor has it he ended up in the hospital from extreme dehydration and exhaustion.

Starbright loves me, REALLY loves me.  REALLLLLYYY!!!

Sprint customer service can die ever so slowly in a fire even if they do manage to reimburse me the $53.87 they claim they don’t owe me…fuckers.

Captnice really needs to clarify whether his name it Captain Nice or Captain Ice, I spend countless hours contemplating which it is and the possible ramifications.  It reminds me of the kid I went to school with named Mike Hunt…

My buddy Lon’s wife is sooo much cooler than him I now have a reason to talk to him.  Hi Erica!!!

Renella needs to post more swimsuit pics to the guild forum.  (well, swimsuit, lingerie, nude…it really doesn’t matter just more pics!!!)

Choogy isn’t a bad player he just has an almost perverted love of standing in fire, it’s really not his fault.

Blizzard fucked the pooch on so many things in Cata that I predict massive subscription losses if Mists isnt unbelievably phenomenal.

I think that’s all I have for today, if this doesn’t generate a new record number of hits for me I don’t know what will.

Cheers,

-Chig

(any resemblance to real people in the above statements is strictly coincidence, it is a pure work of fiction and if you think otherwise you’re right)

~ by chigurhofkt on June 7, 2012.

6 Responses to “Drama and ratings…”

  1. Win!
    As a side not…..Fuck you Gil. <3

    P.S.
    Renella just told me that she's a dude IRL. I KNEW SHE HAD BIGGER BALLS THAN 50!

  2. Fucker

  3. Omg another stalker! Aelric stalks me enough now I have another one.

  4. Sink calls you “asshole” because he’s wishfully thinking he could explore yours,,,

    Lirin, being bombarded by my feeble attempts of seduction has left her immune.

    Kam is a closet Canadianlander so it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

    Are you saying that Edi has no genitalia other than what he keeps in a jar under his bed?? That would explain a few things,,,,,

    I am not THAT hairy,,,

    Gil not only has a secret crush on Opti, he wants to make little Gils with her.

    Fifty, being a gnome, is Lirin’s favorite punting toy. (I would suspect she has other toys that she likes more though)

    Konji, Konki, whatever the fuck his name is these days really needs to learn how to just use normal letters in his name,,asshole.

    I want pics of guild ladies in bikinis too!!!

    Ok, at work so I really should get going.

    Chig, quit being such a drama queen, there’s only enough room for one queen and that’s Sink

  5. No more pics unless I get the approval from Caladun :)

  6. I made the cut!!!! :D

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